A Life with Soul

The soul that rests in each of us,
Is the angel that rests on clouds.
It lives quietly within us,
claiming no time or space of its own.
It restless comes awake some lives,
from the slumberous sleep of life.
It nudges you to start to seek or question,
and shakes life to draw attention to it.
We may see this as challenge, trauma, grief or loss,
we don’t often connect the dots.
But if we were to listen sooner to the signs from the soul,
pay heed with every breath.
We would find the Universe always in our favor,
and life, a more joy-filled endeavor.
– Niki Richardson

You Are the Designer of Your Life

We often believe that people, circumstances and situations outside of ourselves are responsible for shaping the course of our lives. If we get a certain job…then life will be awesome.

If we marry a certain person…then we’ll be happy.

If…then.

And when we place those conditions on ourselves, we find ourselves constantly harboring the desire, but usually our mind is racing around the negative track instead of the positive one. Usually we’re thinking- “oh, how I want that job, and there’s no way I can get it.”

Or

“I would do anything for her/him to give me the time of day, but s/he’s out of my league. What am I thinking?

So we constantly talk ourselves out of our greatest dreams and desires.

And we wonder why life won’t give us what we truly want.

Our job in this life is to be the designer of our lives. And there are many stories of people who set their mind in a determined fashion and accomplished what they set out to do. Why them? And why not you?

Are they smarter? No

Are they prettier? No

Do they have more luck? No

Do they live a charmed life where everything goes their way? Yes

Why?

Because they dream of their desires with dogged determination.

An elite athlete doesn’t take no for an answer; doesn’t see weakness in his/her body. They just train and train and train both body and mind to accomplish their dreams.

A performer, a musician, a tech mogul, a billionaire– none of them started that way. They all have the same things in common with us; they’re human and wear their pants one leg at a time just like you and I.

So what sets them apart?

Single-minded focus.

The inability to see their dream fail.

For them, there’s no question, beyond a shadow of any doubt that they will get where they’re going

So what’s the common denominator?

Harnessing the power of the mind to accomplish your goals.

Most of us live our present from our past. We are shaped by, and molded in the life of our past.

What if we lived our lives from our future?

What if we intentionally shaped and molded ourselves into the life we desire?

What if, instead of lamenting our past, we celebrate our future like it’s already here?

I’m talking about the future that we want to create. Not the one that is a natural extension of our past.

Life is a gift. As far as we know it, it’s the only one we have. We owe it to ourselves to live it in the best way we know how.

So the next time you find yourself using memory lane to blame your present circumstances; take a hard 180° turn and walk into your future.

A simple mind hack to get this started is to take one deep desire/want; and start to imagine it done. Not the HOW. But simply living in a future where it is a reality. If you can train your mind to spend 5-10 minutes a day in your future state, providence will start to provide the HOW.

You don’t have to worry about the HOW.

You only have to focus on the WHAT.

We don’t have to have the correct circumstances to make our dreams a reality.

We only need to have a very vivid dream.

So go ahead- dream in high definition technicolor.

Be A Magnet

On Thursday evening, I came home from work and kids activities feeling nauseous and barely able to lift my head for fear of throwing up. I thought it was food poisoning. I thought i would be back on my feet in 12 hours. But– i had no ‘ejections’ of any kind. Hmmm.

Friday- I stayed home and after I got the family off to school and work, I fell back into a deep sleep for nearly 5 hours.

My body was craving rest.

It’s been a hectic few months– between fundraisers I have to attend, kids activities, work, business, family, it’s been nonstop.

My 45 year old body needs attention too. Running, spinning, boot camp, yoga, dance. (More on the dance later.)

Nutrition and hydration are always top of mind.

I’ve been sleeping ‘fairly’ early — averaging about 6hrs 45min a night. Ok so that’s on the low side. I do make up for it by sleeping nearly 9 hours on Saturday/Sunday. Not ideal I know. Our bodies are creatures of habit and consistent good sleep is way better than inconsistent good sleep.

So– what was this knock-me-off-my-feet episode all about?

You see, when something like this happens to me, it’s always an opportunity to go deep and see why.

It’s never the thing you think it is.

It wasn’t food poisoning.

Or even the 24 hour stomach bug that it turned out to be, complete with fever and achy body.

It’s something more.

It’s a message to me.

From me.

From my Inner Guidance System.

It’s a message to slow down.

Not just the outer body shell that executes all the instructions of the mind.

Slow down the mind.

I have meditated off and on for over 15 years now.

But lately, the meditations were few and far between.

The only time I was truly meditating was during the twice a week 5am walk.

And while moving meditations are powerful.

Your conscious mind is still activated and keeping you safe from the 21st century versions of saber tooth tigers and wooly mammoths. That is; fight or flight is still activated.

It is only when sitting in what your conscious mind can consider to be a completely safe environment that it can even remotely attempt to quiet down, and allow your subconscious mind to be accessed.

So today- after I sent my family off to their various activities.

I sat.

I primed my body with a powerful breathing technique by Dr. Joe Dispenza and then I meditated.

And through my meditation this is what I received:

Be A Magnet

Keep your vibration high

Keep your vision clear

Keep your intention focused

Keep your body nourished

And your soul satisfied

with the love you share

the company you keep

the gratitude you emanate

Be a magnet for the best and limitless possibilities of all time.

I came out of meditation with this profound sense of gratitude and love. I didn’t realize it but tears were streaming down my face. I had envisioned a wonderful world and it felt so real.

Peace

Bliss

Joy

Abundance

Love

So much love.

Isn’t this what John Lennon said when he asked us to Imagine?

Be A Magnet for all that is wonderful and good in the world.

Take a stand for love.

Love is truly magical.

The Storm before the Calm

You cannot plant seeds or plants into soil that hasn’t been stirred up or amended. You cannot stick seeds for new growth into existing soil beds that already have plants growing. There is no space or nutrients for this new growth. In the same way in order for you to have growth, in order to step into the next best thing, you too need to be stirred up, amended and woken up from your status quo so that you can Be, Do, Have the next best thing in your life. It feels like the storm before the calm for you because you’re being shaken out of your reverie. Human nature doesn’t like change. It is resisted. Hence change has to come in a way that makes it a necessary one, often one that is seemingly out of your control. However the more self aware you get, the more you will realize that you do get early warning signs about the change. You usually ignore or overlook them because they aren’t as painful or uncomfortable. Only once we get to that level of discomfort where it is untenable, then that is when you are willing to change. Your job is to get hyper aware and heed the early warning signs for yourself and then change will become second nature and you won’t resist it; rather you will welcome it. 

I got pulled over by a policeman today

Yes I did. I was driving home with my 7yo after dropping my 3yo off to school so we could have a ‘girls’ day off’ while on Spring Break. I turned down a street, just one turn away from my home, doing a California Roll (barely stopping) at the stop sign and in the microsecond that I made that turn and saw him, I just knew he was going to stop me. I looked him squarely in the eyes as I drove by, watching my rear view mirror to see if he would turn his car around…he did.

Now first off – in the past, whenever I have been stopped (just about 3-4 times in my life) my heart would race and I would get really nervous – this time, I was calm. Curious!

Anyway, he probably ran my plate then came up to me and I was handing him my license and registration before he asked. He said what I knew he would say, that I didn’t stop; (I did tap the brakes, I just didn’t stop long enough) – I looked at him and said that I knew the moment that I saw him that he would be pulling me up for this. He took my stuff back to his car to do whatever it is they do. And in that moment, as I waited to receive the ticket (I saw him pull out a pad and start to write something) I remembered my meditation class from last week. It had been such a good teaching that I pulled out my iPhone and started taking notes, making sure to tell the teacher after the fact, that that’s what I was doing, lest she think I was texting in the middle of her teaching.

What she said was profound yet so simple as profound statements tend to be. She was talking about the effort that it takes to train your mind and that it is as important to clean our mind as we clean our bodies, our homes and our cars. The statement that I went to, in that moment waiting for the policeman to come back and give me a ticket for the California roll was that of finding a spiritual practice in every mundane act that we do. In my case sitting there, I thought of this: ‘thank you Universe for one more sign that I should slow down. I receive this message with humility and a sense of acceptance of whatever the consequence is for my action.” And I actually found myself smiling at that moment.

So Mr. Policeman with a very sweet Eastern European accent returns to my side and asks me for my home or cell phone number. (is that usual? Don’t remember that from my last pull over from over a decade ago) He asks me what I do – I tell him I am self employed. He asks in what? I say I am a Wellness Coach. I am figuring he’s filling out details on his triplicate ticket that he’s about to rip out and give me. He then says he isn’t going to give me a ticket this time…rather let me off with a warning – that I have a child in the car and that I am in a residential area and that I should be more careful. I thank him out loud, bless him in my heart and make my way home basking in the love that has just been shown to me by The Universe, by way of a very thoughtful police officer.

So my invitation to you is to consider what ordinary activities do you engage in everyday that you can transform into a spiritual practice. Here are some thoughts to ponder:

  1. Food cooked with love and consciousness is an expression of love and kindness.
  2. See the potential in every activity you engage in – whether that be cleaning your bathroom or doing your taxes
  3. Develop a mind of compassion in everything you do
  4. Recognize that even an intention to control your mind and develop peace causes a karmic event. No action is ever wasted.
  5. You’ve created the cause, you will experience the effect.

Think of negative thoughts as ‘bad weather in the blue sky of your mind’ turbulence is momentary – blue skies ahead!

Let me know how I can assist you on your journey. I’m in your service and sending you light & love

SLOW DOWN! SLOW DOWN! SLOW DOWN!

In email etiquette it is said that ALL CAPS is screaming. Well that’s what the Universe has been yelling at me! How do I know? Ok so here’s what’s happened with me in the past few weeks – and you can tell me if you disagree.

  1. I bought Quickbooks 2014 to migrate my business books over – for three weeks I waited until I received the QB file from my CPA (I wanted to wait because I wanted to have as much time with the limited tech support as possible) – well I received the file from her, but then I could no longer fine the QB 2014 disc in my house. I have looked EVERYWHERE! And I know it never left my house – but I can’t find it.
  2. I was vacuuming cobwebs with my powerful vacuum cleaner’s telescopic wand and instead of powering it off before retracting the wand I started to slide it back into place – well the suction retracted it super fast, pinching my thumb skin at the joint very very painfully into it!
  3. I was dropping my daughter off to her school in my usual 5″ wedges – we got out of the car and stepped funny onto the curb – lost my balance (easy to do in 5″ wedges) and practically did a face plant – my hands went down to protect my fall – and they did – except my fingers were bent under, and I scraped a big chunk of flesh off two fingers on the second joint. (I now wear flats for drop off!)
  4. I cut my other thumb while cooking – again at the joint.
  5. Then two days ago, I sprained my ankle while sprinting – just 5 days before my first race in over two years.
  6. For most of last year, I would see my ankle brace lying around the house – now that I really need it – I have no idea where it is.

So – what do you think? Can you relate? Is life just SOOO busy that you would lose your head if it wasn’t attached? 

I realized this week that as much as I have thought that I am doing self-care (some yoga, occasional meditation) I haven’t been loyal to my recipe for success. If anything I have been depriving myself of the things that help me be the best version of myself. I have found myself short with my husband and kids on a couple occasions and even been less patient with my 3yo. 

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When you work for yourself, your personal and professional lives tend to blend together. There’s no 9-5. You’re always ON, always thinking about your work and how you can serve your clients better. But if you’re not careful about it, the blend of personal and professional can skew heavily depending on what’s going on in your life at any given time. As an entrepreneur, time management is critical to the successful blend of personal/professional life. 

So now that my body is forced to slow down due to the recent spate of minor injuries. I HAVE to slow down and this is giving me time to really think about what I want to focus on. It is going to give me a chance to helicopter above the runway and see things at the 50,000 foot view. I attended a productivity seminar today conducted by Sara Caputo of Radiant Organizing – and one of the many nuggets I walked away with was about Urgent Vs. Important. Urgent is the stuff that takes over our day – emails that we are bombarded with, that we are programmed to respond to asap, versus important – the things that typically do NOT have a deadline but will be make a huge difference in your life or business if you do spend time and attention on it. It is imperative to block out time to spend ON your business and your life – just as you spend time IN  your business and your life. 

So here are some of the things that I plan to do to implement this and to create time to work on the IMPORTANT and not just the URGENT.

  1. Something that I learned early on in my Arbonne career by my ENVP Donna Weiser – chunking my time. Block time for everything – rest, spiritual renewal, exercise, sleep, family time, work etc. and do this consistently. If you spend an hour on a Sunday night to put this into effect, on an on-going basis, every Sunday, it won’t take more than 20min.
  2. Friday 45 – this I learned from Sara today. Take 45 min on a Friday afternoon and close loops and put things in place that you need to for the week ahead. 
  3. Triple D – Dig Down Deep – Sara didn’t call it Triple D – I did…but yes, go deep – this is really getting down to the root of what you need to spend your time, energy and focus on – the IMPORTANT stuff vs. the URGENT stuff. Do this for at least an hour a week. Sara said 90 minutes every week. If that seems too much – start with just 30 minutes – do this consistently and you will find yourself wanting to spend more time on this and undoubtedly your income producing activity will take care of itself.
  4. The final nugget I want to share from Sara is when she said – Stop Saying that You’re Busy! If that’s what you keep saying, then that is in fact what the Universe will continue to give you..MORE BUSY-NESS. Lets change that self talk – how about when someone asks you how you are…instead of saying I’m so busy – say I’M SO PRODUCTIVE! 

I could write more on this – but I am going back to focusing on my Recipe for Success – and being good about my sleep time is one of those items on my check list. So I’m off to bed!

PS: I am working on some very exciting new programs which I will be unveiling soon. Stay tuned for details.

For details on chunking your time, or recipe for success please message me and I am happy to share. 

Also, if anyone has a license for QB that they aren’t using and would want to donate to me – I would be eternally grateful!

Roots and the Way of the Universe

Can you imagine what it must be like to live somewhere for 19 years without ever feeling like you’ve put down roots? That’s me! I moved to NY from India in 1994 because ever since I was 12 I knew I wanted to live in this great country. In NY I always felt that I was there just to do what I had to do, to get to where I was supposed to go, then I moved to California to get an MBA at Pepperdine University and living in Woodland Hills was just while I was in school. Then I met my husband and we moved to where we live now, but I never thought of VC as home – always thought that we’d settle somewhere else; that this house isn’t where we’ll put down roots, even though both our kids were born here. Do you know how exhausting that is? To always be living as if you’re just here temporarily – till wherever you’ll go next, only to do that again, and again. I never quite settled into my home – and we’ve been here over 8 years. I feel like I haven’t actually made it my own. Ever since I moved in with my husband 13 years ago, I craved a sense of community – craved girlfriends who lived close enough that we could meet for coffee or wine, or get our kids together for play dates as an excuse for us to get together, to have a rotation of homes to go to for the different holidays, for summer fun activities – you get it! And don’t get me wrong – I have A.M.A.Z.I.N.G girlfriends the world over – and that’s just it – they’re all over the world. Hong Kong, India, Australia, Iran, London etc. and here in the US, San Diego, Portland, Seattle, Rhode Island, Santa Barbara, New York, Los Angeles and other cities, but no one within a few miles of me – until September 5, 2012. That milestone day was the day my little girl started kindergarten, and a community of new kinder parents began to form. The universe was finally answering my prayer…here was evolving a small subgroup of the kinder parents who’s kids got along, but the parents REALLY got along…not just the women – but the husbands too!

Memorial Day Monday this year – we gathered at one of the homes, a beautiful home on a hill with an incredible front yard at the bottom of a gentle slope. We parents sat watching as the kids ran free and wild with nowhere to go that would be out of sight – but with so much space to run that one full lap would have exhausted them all! Beer, guacamole, cheese, fruit, burgers, hot dogs and incredible conversations. This is by far the best Memorial Day I have ever celebrated in this country. I can say that about New Year’s Eve, Cinco de Mayo & Easter too – lots of laughter and fun, and the incredible sense of community that I have craved and sought even without realizing it, for most of my adult life.

So with this sense of finally settling in came the realization that although I LOVE working in Santa Barbara, no – under no circumstances do I want to move there anytime soon (which is something I thought I wanted for the past 5 years). This was so freeing. For the very first time, since 1994 I feel like I am settled. I am HOME and I love it.

And here’s where the Universe does it’s thing in strange ways…

Monday May 27 – Memorial Day BBQ with friends and this realization of community hits home hard.

Tuesday May 28 – grandfather would have turned 91 – I definitely think he was hanging out with me that week.

Wednesday May 29, 6:06 am as I meditate, I think that I hear my husband’s voice loud and clear from the top of the stairs telling me ‘It’s time for work‘ – so as not to shout back up – I text him and tell him it’s only 6 am (our household doesn’t wake till 6:30). I go upstairs to start getting ready at 6:30 am and he joins me in the bathroom groggy and asks me why I texted him. I remind him that he yelled down at me half an hour ago – and he looks at me like I’m inhaling an illicit narcotic! No, it wasn’t him he says. I heard it LOUD and clear! It wasn’t him – but I heard these words in a male voice that I assumed was him because there are no other adult males in my house at that hour of the morning.

Later this day, I receive a job offer and am scheduled to attend an interview for a different job later in June. Both these are in VC – the County that is my home, and the County that I have been trying to get out of for the past 5 years.

June 1, 9:00am – I attend an Arbonne training with my dear friend Mel and we are both rocked in our shoes with the incredible energy – we are both ready to roll up our sleeves and seriously get to work! I want my free White Mercedes for Christmas!

So yes God – It’s time for work – I get it, loud and clear! I’m here, and ready when you are!

Appreciate where you are

20130106-082345.jpg Appreciate where you are. You are where you are because that’s what you needed to experience up to this point and that’s okay. Standing on the diving board of appreciation is a perfect place to launch from into the pool of your desires. Instead of beating yourself up because you are not where you want to be yet give yourself a break. Appreciating what is good builds more of what is good.” M.J. Durkin