You Are the Designer of Your Life

We often believe that people, circumstances and situations outside of ourselves are responsible for shaping the course of our lives. If we get a certain job…then life will be awesome.

If we marry a certain person…then we’ll be happy.

If…then.

And when we place those conditions on ourselves, we find ourselves constantly harboring the desire, but usually our mind is racing around the negative track instead of the positive one. Usually we’re thinking- “oh, how I want that job, and there’s no way I can get it.”

Or

“I would do anything for her/him to give me the time of day, but s/he’s out of my league. What am I thinking?

So we constantly talk ourselves out of our greatest dreams and desires.

And we wonder why life won’t give us what we truly want.

Our job in this life is to be the designer of our lives. And there are many stories of people who set their mind in a determined fashion and accomplished what they set out to do. Why them? And why not you?

Are they smarter? No

Are they prettier? No

Do they have more luck? No

Do they live a charmed life where everything goes their way? Yes

Why?

Because they dream of their desires with dogged determination.

An elite athlete doesn’t take no for an answer; doesn’t see weakness in his/her body. They just train and train and train both body and mind to accomplish their dreams.

A performer, a musician, a tech mogul, a billionaire– none of them started that way. They all have the same things in common with us; they’re human and wear their pants one leg at a time just like you and I.

So what sets them apart?

Single-minded focus.

The inability to see their dream fail.

For them, there’s no question, beyond a shadow of any doubt that they will get where they’re going

So what’s the common denominator?

Harnessing the power of the mind to accomplish your goals.

Most of us live our present from our past. We are shaped by, and molded in the life of our past.

What if we lived our lives from our future?

What if we intentionally shaped and molded ourselves into the life we desire?

What if, instead of lamenting our past, we celebrate our future like it’s already here?

I’m talking about the future that we want to create. Not the one that is a natural extension of our past.

Life is a gift. As far as we know it, it’s the only one we have. We owe it to ourselves to live it in the best way we know how.

So the next time you find yourself using memory lane to blame your present circumstances; take a hard 180° turn and walk into your future.

A simple mind hack to get this started is to take one deep desire/want; and start to imagine it done. Not the HOW. But simply living in a future where it is a reality. If you can train your mind to spend 5-10 minutes a day in your future state, providence will start to provide the HOW.

You don’t have to worry about the HOW.

You only have to focus on the WHAT.

We don’t have to have the correct circumstances to make our dreams a reality.

We only need to have a very vivid dream.

So go ahead- dream in high definition technicolor.

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September 24: Daily reflections of Highly Effective People

it’s not what happens to us, but our response to what happens to is that hurts us. Of course things can hurt us physically or economically and can cause sorrow. But our character, our basic identity, does not have to be hurt at all. In fact, our most difficult experiences become the crucibles that forge our character and develop the internal powers, the freedom to handle difficult circumstances in the future and to inspire others to do so as well. – Stephen R. Covey

I am on vacation, but am sort of working because well that’s just that nature of me! I can’t turn off totally. And I don’t want to– I don’t believe in separation of work and personal life– if you love what you do, you’re not working anyway! And I teach people to integrate their work into the nooks and crannies of their day all the time- so why would vacation be any different.

Yesterday, however I let something get to me….in a way that usually things don’t get to me anymore. And you know what happens when you let something get under your skin– even if you’re the root cause of that difficult situation…it gets under your skin and festers. It plays havoc with your mind– you can’t sleep, you are crabby with those around you that you’ve no right to take it out on, and you can’t be in the moment anymore because every moment is taken over by your thoughts around the situation that is not resolved. Things become a mountain when they’re just a molehill. It’s what I tell my 6yo all the time– the more you focus energy on your booboo– the bigger it will get and the more it will hurt. Easy to preach– harder to practice. Anyway, I got the opportunity to right the wrong that caused the issue- and my mind reset…but then when I opened the page to this book that I’m reading to today’s date and the quote above is the quote I got to read. It couldn’t have been more appropriate for me today. Yes, I always am amazed at the infinite wisdom and ability of the Universe to tell you exactly what you need to hear, when you need to hear it.

Thank you Universe (and Stephen Covey!)

What Defines You?

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Last Friday I started what is going to be a 10 month long journey as a cohort of a leadership program called Emerging Leaders. This is designed to be a reflective, thoughtful, thought-provoking training with 15 of my peers to develop the next generation of leaders in the nonprofit sector. 

An honor system confidentiality agreement dictates that I cannot share with you what others confide in that safe, sacred space, but I can and will certainly be sharing my journey here and I hope you’ll come along for the ride. 

During an incredible orientation which started with a tour of a magnificent venue called Lotusland in Montecito, CA – a place obviously purposely chosen not just for the serenity and natural beauty but also for the inspiration that it provides you to just BE! It’s the place, where I’m told members go to just ‘Zen Out’ although I am not quite certain what that means. I imagine it means to just BE.MINDFUL. 

One of the exercises we had to do was to think of a word, a phrase or a group of words that we felt defined us – after considerable thought the words I chose were 

MIND.AFFIRM.ABUNDANT – and when I had to share with this group of complete strangers what this meant, I choked up! I couldn’t continue the first time and had to be allowed time to compose myself…I’m still working on why that happened…but when I did get to re-present to the group – here’s what I shared:

MIND – the most powerful tool at our disposal to create and have all that we ever want in this lifetime. It is our choice to use it or not.

AFFIRM: My dear coach and mentor Donna has dinned into me the power of affirmations – they work, even if you don’t believe them initially – they work! So create positive first person affirmations of EVERYTHING you want to attract or achieve in your life and don’t just say them – believe them…emote them!

ABUNDANT: If you employ your MIND to visualize and believe in your AFFIRMations you will fill your life with ABUNDANCE.

Wishing you abundance and peace