The Wild Woman

This is so very true. 6 years ago, I started to seek, and once I truly found my way back to my soul, once I was truly awakened— there is NOTHING more important to me than keeping that spark alive. That aliveness, the importance I place in my own self – not out of ego or importance of my physical self, but rather this very deep understanding that this physical life is simply a journey, it’s like going to Hawaii or any other part of the world that’s not your home. And that my soul – or in her words my Wild Woman transcends this life. And that by keeping this kindling alive, by constantly allowing her to speak through me, I live the best way I know how in this life and then all else falls into place. This knowing has helped me surrender so much. I don’t worry anymore. I don’t get frustrated about the state of the world, it’s God’s doing, it’s God’s will, and God’s plan is greater than my physical mind can wrap around.

But when I can quiet my physical self, and truly listen through quiet ears, I can catch a glimpse of that magnitude of The Plan.

And I realize all is well. Through natural disasters, man made disasters, violence, disease, hunger, poverty, all of this — there is a Plan. And my role, is to simply take care of the square footage around my own two feet. To trust that if I LOVE myself, truly love myself, in doing so, I am doing my part for this Plan. Imagine if we all loved ourselves. Truly and honestly and sincerely loved ourselves with the same lack of judgment and unconditionality that we love our kids with.

THAT is a big part of God’s Plan. The only part that we need to play.

At least that’s what I believe.

You?

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Exercise is Poetry of the Body

Exercise moves your physical body and occupies your human mind for you cannot exercise and think about anything other than what you are doing for fear of injury. Stay focused. Exercise helps you engage all parts of your body and mind and get them working in unison in a way that few other activities can do. Exercise is the execution of God-consciousness. It is poetry of the body just as meditation is poetry of the soul. 

Roots and the Way of the Universe

Can you imagine what it must be like to live somewhere for 19 years without ever feeling like you’ve put down roots? That’s me! I moved to NY from India in 1994 because ever since I was 12 I knew I wanted to live in this great country. In NY I always felt that I was there just to do what I had to do, to get to where I was supposed to go, then I moved to California to get an MBA at Pepperdine University and living in Woodland Hills was just while I was in school. Then I met my husband and we moved to where we live now, but I never thought of VC as home – always thought that we’d settle somewhere else; that this house isn’t where we’ll put down roots, even though both our kids were born here. Do you know how exhausting that is? To always be living as if you’re just here temporarily – till wherever you’ll go next, only to do that again, and again. I never quite settled into my home – and we’ve been here over 8 years. I feel like I haven’t actually made it my own. Ever since I moved in with my husband 13 years ago, I craved a sense of community – craved girlfriends who lived close enough that we could meet for coffee or wine, or get our kids together for play dates as an excuse for us to get together, to have a rotation of homes to go to for the different holidays, for summer fun activities – you get it! And don’t get me wrong – I have A.M.A.Z.I.N.G girlfriends the world over – and that’s just it – they’re all over the world. Hong Kong, India, Australia, Iran, London etc. and here in the US, San Diego, Portland, Seattle, Rhode Island, Santa Barbara, New York, Los Angeles and other cities, but no one within a few miles of me – until September 5, 2012. That milestone day was the day my little girl started kindergarten, and a community of new kinder parents began to form. The universe was finally answering my prayer…here was evolving a small subgroup of the kinder parents who’s kids got along, but the parents REALLY got along…not just the women – but the husbands too!

Memorial Day Monday this year – we gathered at one of the homes, a beautiful home on a hill with an incredible front yard at the bottom of a gentle slope. We parents sat watching as the kids ran free and wild with nowhere to go that would be out of sight – but with so much space to run that one full lap would have exhausted them all! Beer, guacamole, cheese, fruit, burgers, hot dogs and incredible conversations. This is by far the best Memorial Day I have ever celebrated in this country. I can say that about New Year’s Eve, Cinco de Mayo & Easter too – lots of laughter and fun, and the incredible sense of community that I have craved and sought even without realizing it, for most of my adult life.

So with this sense of finally settling in came the realization that although I LOVE working in Santa Barbara, no – under no circumstances do I want to move there anytime soon (which is something I thought I wanted for the past 5 years). This was so freeing. For the very first time, since 1994 I feel like I am settled. I am HOME and I love it.

And here’s where the Universe does it’s thing in strange ways…

Monday May 27 – Memorial Day BBQ with friends and this realization of community hits home hard.

Tuesday May 28 – grandfather would have turned 91 – I definitely think he was hanging out with me that week.

Wednesday May 29, 6:06 am as I meditate, I think that I hear my husband’s voice loud and clear from the top of the stairs telling me ‘It’s time for work‘ – so as not to shout back up – I text him and tell him it’s only 6 am (our household doesn’t wake till 6:30). I go upstairs to start getting ready at 6:30 am and he joins me in the bathroom groggy and asks me why I texted him. I remind him that he yelled down at me half an hour ago – and he looks at me like I’m inhaling an illicit narcotic! No, it wasn’t him he says. I heard it LOUD and clear! It wasn’t him – but I heard these words in a male voice that I assumed was him because there are no other adult males in my house at that hour of the morning.

Later this day, I receive a job offer and am scheduled to attend an interview for a different job later in June. Both these are in VC – the County that is my home, and the County that I have been trying to get out of for the past 5 years.

June 1, 9:00am – I attend an Arbonne training with my dear friend Mel and we are both rocked in our shoes with the incredible energy – we are both ready to roll up our sleeves and seriously get to work! I want my free White Mercedes for Christmas!

So yes God – It’s time for work – I get it, loud and clear! I’m here, and ready when you are!